Top 3 Things to Do If You Have Vaginismus
Updated July 2024
Let me guess, you’re dreading going to the gynecologist because you can’t tolerate the speculum.
You’re good at ending relationships before sex is on the table so you won’t have to have the “I can’t do it” conversation.
You can’t insert or wear tampons, but figure that’s just “part of life.”
Then someone told you you might have vaginismus, and now you don’t know where to turn.
You’re in the right place! Read Top 3 Things to Do If You Have Vaginismus to understand how to start supporting your body and get some relief.
How Do You Know if You Have Vaginismus?
Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the pelvic floor muscles at the vaginal opening in response to penetration or expected penetration. It can impact people differently, but most commonly my patients complain of an inability to have sex, tolerate a speculum during a gynecological exam, or use a tampon. It’s important for all women to know that there is treatment for vaginismus, and it isn’t something that you have to live with. You can’t “just relax” it away.
…most commonly my patients complain of an inability to have sex, tolerate a speculum during a gynecological exam, or use a tampon.
What Causes Vaginismus?
The exact cause of vaginismus is unknown, however there are some things that are linked to vaginismus including anxiety, history of trauma or sexual abuse, pain with intercourse in the past, a religion/culture that encourages abstinence or sexual purity, and other emotional factors. But you should remember that sometimes there isn’t an obvious cause, and not all people identify as having one of these common causes.
There are two types of vaginismus, primary and secondary. People with primary vaginismus may find out that they have vaginismus during their first gynecological exam, with their first menstrual period, or when they try to attempt their first sexual encounter. People with secondary vaginismus will report that vaginismus developed later in life. They might have been able to have pain free, uninhibited intercourse before, but now find themselves having burning pain with penetration or even a total inability to tolerate penetration. Both people come into my office reporting that it feels like “something is hitting a wall” with or without burning, itching, or searing pain at their vaginal opening. Sound familiar?
It’s important for all women to know that there is treatment for vaginismus, and it isn’t something that you have to live with. You can’t “just relax” it away.
How Common Is Vaginismus?
Like all pelvic floor dysfunctions, vaginismus is both a severely under-reported condition that is also under-represented in the research. While it’s hard to say exactly how many women suffer with vaginismus, we can estimate that it is a lot more common than anyone thinks. Odds are that if you are experiencing vaginismus, someone in your circle of friends or family is too. Or they’ve gone through it in the past.
Can Vaginismus Be Cured?
Vaginismus is treatable and many of my patients experience significant or complete alleviation of their symptoms after working with me. To recover from vaginismus, you have to work on your body AND your mind. A holistic approach will help address the emotional as well as the physical aspects of this condition for more complete recovery.
To recover from vaginismus, you have to work on your body AND your mind.
Here are the top three things I believe all people with vaginismus should be doing to progress to pain free penetration:
1 - See a pelvic floor physical therapist.
A pelvic floor PT will help you address your musculoskeletal system and your nervous system as it pertains to vaginismus. They will help you develop a plan that includes stretches, manual therapy, breathing, dilators, and other exercises.
2 - See a licensed sex therapist.
Preferably one with experience working with patients who have vaginismus. If you have a history of sexual or religious trauma, you should try to find someone who has experience with these topics as well.
3 - Use vaginal dilators to address both physical and emotional causes of vaginismus.
Dilators help to physically stretch the pelvic floor muscles and desensitize your body to the emotional responses around penetration. Use of vaginal dilators should ideally be under the guidance of and instruction from a pelvic floor physical therapist, however if you don’t have access to a pelvic PT there are many online resources that can walk you through this process.
Use of vaginal dilators should ideally be under the guidance of and instruction from a pelvic floor physical therapist, however if you don’t have access to a pelvic PT there are many online resources that can walk you through this process. Shown is a dilator set from Intimate Rose, one of the products we offer at Renew Pelvic Health.
If you are looking for an Atlanta pelvic floor therapist to help with vaginismus we hope you will come see us at Renew Pelvic Health. We offer compassionate, trauma-informed care for all genders and have helped many people recover from vaginismus. We also work with many wonderful Atlanta sex therapists and can help you find a local therapist to further support your healing process. Most appointments can be booked online but feel free to call or email us if you have any questions!